A Huge Need For Kirk and Sarah: 

They are in need of a new or like new matched pair washer and dryer for their new apartment. If you are able to help with this need, please send a message to sarahshope2010@yahoo.com. Thanks for everyone’s prayer and support!

Day 74

A Note From Mom Lien:
Today Sarah had a consultation with Dr. Mathes, a reconstruction/plastic surgeon at the UW Medical Center. To say that today was difficult is an understatement. She didn’t want to be there to begin with and then to face the possibilities of what surgery consists of was traumatic. Of course, all of our hopes are that she would be spared this trial……Father, please? BUT in the midst of a tough day it is always good to be reminded that Jesus, our Lord and Saviour, has gone before us in all things and is our strength and help in times of trouble. He gives His grace when it is needed! AND, He has an army that prays and we all appreciate each and every one of them!!!

On a lighter note, Dr. Mathes is doing research in certain areas and Sarah asked if he would be so kind as to also research CFS for her. Oh, you don’t know what CFS is? It is code for “Cleavage for Sarah”. Enough said on that subject!

Day 73 - Moving Day

Moving Day….an update from Kirk:
We are fully moved into the new apartment! Not exactly moved out of boxes yet but at least we are not half in Arlington and half in Snohomish. This morning was fun trying to find things in every room of the apartment. However, belts, make-up and shoes were finally found. I think I’m going to start wearing my box cutter on my hip just in case. It will take some time before we know right where every dish and glass is so if you come and visit expect delays. We wouldn’t have been able to get moved in so fast if it wasn’t for family and friends! The Brandes’ (Uncle Andy and Auntie Jan) came to help as well as my friend Andrew. Our regular crew was also there which includes the “mommas” and the “poppas” (no pun intended) and our sisters. Oh yes and one more special guy was there…our little nephew Mr. Roman. Thanks everyone for your prayers for a swift move before Sarah’s chemo. God has provided this apartment for us and we are so grateful.

I want to give a special shout out to Ron Spainhour. Guess what? Now we do live in Snohomish and we can be great!...If we want to….but we don’t have to. Sarah would like to throw in that we are already great no matter where we live but if Snohomish helps then perfect!

-Kirk

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Day 72

A Note from Momma “Hawk”:
We headed down to Seattle for dinner and the 5th Avenue to see our last play of the season, “Candide”. Peggy got us there safely without using the “Transit Only” lane this time. Dinner at The Purple Café was great with our play group. The ladies always have fun conversation full of tips on shoes, cruises and vacations…thanks Arva Dell, Penny and Kathy! The play was about surviving the twists and turns of life which we know all too much about these days. Thus the play wasn’t as enjoyable as we had hoped, but a night on the town with my precious Sarah was wonderful. While we were at the play, Kirk and his sister Ellice worked on getting all the kitchen stuff unpacked in their new apartment. What a blessing to have things unboxed and organized! Thank you everyone for loving and supporting my sweet daughter and son. Jim and I are so blessed and comforted knowing that so many care for our family in our time of need.

Love, Barb

Day 71

It’s Moving Day! Well….it’s the first day of the big move. Over the past couple days we have started putting our whole life in boxes. It feels so strange to pack up when we love our apartment and neighbors/landlords/surrogate parents so much. As our time in Arlington comes to an end I am having a hard time saying goodbye. However, Kirk is thrilled and says I need to jump on the happy train and smile. His morning commute will go from 50 minutes to literally 50 seconds since we are right across the street. We were able to move everything except the large furniture and our kitchen items with the help of our handy dandy work crew. Papa Hawk and Papa Lien moved the big boxes with our cousin Nathaniel. Mama Lien and Sister Ellice helped put everything in their proper rooms so I wouldn’t have to lift a finger. Did that stop me from picking up boxes when no one was looking? Absolutely not and now I am paying for it! I think Kirk is going to have to use packing tape for my arms and legs to keep me from over doing it. Fortunately, we will only have one more “major” day of moving and then all that is left is decorating and organizing which is usually my favorite part but I have next to no energy so my sisters will have to come to the rescue. Please pray that I will have super human endurance for this next week because this move on top of chemo coming up, hospital visits, and saying goodbye to my first apartment is a perfect storm for my strength and emotions.

Love Always,
Sarah

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A Huge Need For Kirk and Sarah: 

They are in need of a new or like new matched pair washer and dryer for their new apartment. If you are able to help with this need, please send a message to sarahshope2010@yahoo.com. Thanks for everyone’s prayer and support!

Day 70

Happy Birthday Kirk! It was his “Golden Birthday”; 24 on the 24th! He wanted to go to Claim Jumper for dinner with his family and so his wish was our command. Our night was filled with large portions, laughter, red velvet cupcakes, singing and white chocolate raspberry cream cheese pie. Thanks Mom and Dad Lien for a great birthday dinner!

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Day 69

In the words of Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” We feel like so much has happened that we hardly even know what day it is. Being in the hospital day after day has made us feel like we were in a “Dead Zone” completely out of touch with the outside world. It was worse for Sarah because she had to stay in her room as to not get any hospital germs. She could have walked the halls while wearing a bright yellow mask but she was already on edge and didn’t want to bring more attention to herself. I was picking on Sarah out of love and told her that her hospital robe reminded me of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat.” She has been a little bossy ever since, and she calls it being “The Shepherd.” I think I’ve created a monster. Finally, we made it through and are glad to tell you that her blood cell counts are back up and she has not had a fever in a couple days. At the hospital, they gave Sarah a different kind of bone marrow boosting medication and it worked like a charm. This is fantastic news! We hope to use this new drug for the rest of her treatments but there is a catch…it is a shot that she will need to go to the Cancer Center to receive once a day for 3 to 5 days after treatment. This is a decent trade-off because her body responds well to it and there is much less pain than the Neulasta shot. Your prayers for our hospital “vacation” are greatly appreciated.

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After two months of looking, we finally found an apartment! God has really set this place up for us and just in the nick of time. It couldn’t be any more perfect for us and we are so excited to start moving in. It has nearly all the features we were looking for and we have such an overwhelming sense of peace about this place. Incredibly, there’s even an elevator so there are no stairs for weak legs to climb. Our new apartment is going to be such a stress reliever for us because it is minutes from everything that we need and it is across the street from Kirk’s work in Snohomish. We have to move this week so that we can be all settled before the next chemotherapy appointment which is on June first. Thank you so much for the prayers about relocating. God does hear our needs and he provides in amazing ways!

Love,
Kirk & Sarah

Day 67

Wednesday, Kirk went with Papa Hawk to the Olympic Peninsula to go fishing with a group of guys. When Sarah ended up in the hospital he was desperate to get home to his bride! As yesterday was too late to get there and back with the ferry schedule, early this morning Dad and Mom Lien hit the ferry to bring him to his loved one. When they arrived four and a half hours later at Snow Creek Resort where the guys were fishing from it was decided that perhaps this could be Kirk and Sarah’s 2nd honeymoon location. Check out the picture and see what you think! HA!

In the meantime Mom Hawkins held down the fort with Sarah at the hospital. This morning her temp was down; but this afternoon it was on the rise again so please keep her in your prayers. Kirk finally made it to his dear Sarah by 5:30 p.m. freshly showered to make sure she didn’t think something was ‘fishy’!

Day 66

PRAYER REQUEST:
Sarah is in the hospital tonight and the doctors are wanting to keep her there for a few days to monitor her. Although Sarah does not feel sick, her temperature has been too high today. Please pray for her immune system!

Day 65

A Note From Sarah:
I am afraid.
I am afraid of being weak, of sleeping too much, of being alone, of being on too many medications, and of falling down. Chemotherapy is continually stripping me of my strength; each time worse than the last. I am in the middle of my treatment, and I can barely walk up a flight of stairs. All I can think of is: what won’t I be able to do at the end of my sixth treatment? I don’t feel like a strong, independent woman these days. Instead I feel like a child who is a chore to her husband and family. Who is going to be with Sarah today? Who will take her to the doctor? Who will call and remind her of her medication? The silly thing is I know that my husband and family love taking care of me and would love to do even more for me. My family’s support is the reason I am doing so well yet I am so uncomfortable letting go of control and just resting in their arms. I push the limits with my body every day because I cannot face the reality that I am unable to do simple tasks. Some days my mind is the enemy. I have to remind myself that this weakness is only temporary, and I will regain my strength. Lord please let me regain my strength.

As uncomfortable as I am feeling helpless and weak I was reminded by my dad that this is a good place to be. God wants us to get to the place where we can lay everything down and rely solely on Him. I am not having fun feeling out of control, but God and I are getting closer and that is the only thing I need to strive for.

“For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind.” 
2 Timothy 1:7

Day 61

An update from Kirk:
Saturday was the "Walk for Sarah" at Kirk's old work: Glacier Peak High School. It was organized by Sharon Sanchez, the PTO, and the Future Business Leaders of America club. To our surprise, the FBLA Club had ordered special T-shirts with "A Walk for Sarah" on them. This was a personal touch that we had not expected but were very grateful for. What a great turnout! There were 110 pre-registered walkers and more came on top of that. Once it started there was a constant flow of people just itching to get on the track. The walkers weren't only teachers and staff, but amazingly many students and whole families joined in as well. It was amazing to see that so many people already loved and supported Sarah simply because they love and support her dad and husband. After Sarah met so many of the walkers, she said it was extremely evident that the Snohomish School District is like one great big family. A teacher from every subject at Papa Hawk's work, Valley View Middle School, was represented, and even teachers from his old school Seattle Hill Elementary came to show their support. Over and over I heard supporters telling Sarah how beautiful she was and what an inspiration it has been to see her smile on the blog. On behalf of Sarah and myself, we cannot express the extent of our gratitude. The entire Snohomish School District has been such a great support to us in our time of need. Thank You!!!

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Day 59

A Note From Sarah:
There is something so comforting about sleeping in your childhood bedroom. All of the familiar sounds melt my worries away, and there is just a feeling of peace. It also doesn't hurt to know that your mom is standing by ready to make every wish a reality. When I finally awoke from my "Sleeping Beauty" sleep, I got to play with my adorable nephew Roman! My mom and I spread out blankets in the back yard, and let him explore the great outdoors. What fun it was to watch him try to sneak a mixture of grass and buttercups into his mouth. When Bethany came to pick him up, she had a special surprise for me: a hot pink pedicure with a side of girl talk. Thanks Sister! Every day I'm reminded what a gift God has given me in my family!

Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
Psalm 63:7

A Note From Kirk:
Today our friend Chris has done it yet again. He has shaved the breast cancer ribbon into his hair, but this time he went all out. Thanks Chris! We love you! This is just one case where we have seen extreme love and support from our friends. We really do appreciate all of the support, which in some cases comes in very surprising forms. Whether it be cards, cancer fund donations, or crazy haircuts, we cannot stress enough how much it all means to us. Please pray and keep us in your thoughts as you are all in ours.

Day 58

A Note From Sarah:

"Mr. Sandman...Bring Me Some Energy"

Today I slept. After I slept I had a snack to take more medicine, half watched a TV show, and then slept some more. I don't know how my body could need more sleep, but somehow it does. Ellice was at my house with me, even though I probably wasn't a fantastic hostess. I just slept the whole time and hardly even spoke a word. However, friends and sisters are always there...even on the weird days. Let's hope that Mr. Sandman doesn't make me his best friend for the rest of this week.

Day 57

A Note From Kirk:
Sarah's energy has really taken a hit and fast. Our stairs at home have become quite a daunting task to traverse, but nothing stops my little energizer bunny from going. She spent the day with her mom getting spoiled rotten with around the clock care. How great is it to have a nurse for a mother?........Priceless. Her taste buds have already changed quite dramatically and the only comfort that she gets in that department comes from her banana popsicles. It seems like when people are sick it is the strangest things that do the trick and for her banana popsicles are it. I am finding that with each chemo therapy treatment, I see my wife's stamina getting lower and lower. Sarah is such a go-getter and it takes quite a bit of coaxing to get her to stop and just rest and relax. Sometimes she overdoes it a little, but it's her love of life that keeps her wanting to do...do...do and go...go...go. I know that because of this she will bounce back very strong once she's done with this battle. Even though Sarah is extra emotional and tears are frequent, she also has so many happy emotions that also result in frequent laughter. These joyful moments, when they do happen, help us keep going and continue to have fun in the midst of hard times. For me, it is Sarah's smile that uplifts my heart when it is in need. God has been gracious and helps us forget our frustrations and focus on the good that he is setting before us. We have really felt your prayers over the last two months. I know that I, and most certainly Sarah, could not have gotten this far without you!

Thanks For Following Us!!!
Kirk

Psalm 116:4-6 

⁴ Then I called on the name of the LORD :
       "O LORD, save me!"

⁵ The LORD is gracious and righteous;
       our God is full of compassion.

⁶ The LORD protects the simple hearted;
       when I was in great need, he saved me.

Day 56 - Chemo Treatment #3

A Note From Sarah...
I am half way through my chemo treatments! Yay!!! I am on the home stretch. I had an appointment with my oncologist this morning to talk about how things are going. Dr. Batson said since I had so much overwhelming pain due to the Neulasta shot, I do not have to have the shot this time. Because of this, I will need to be extremely cautious as to not get an infection. Anti-bacterial wipes will be my friend. Please pray that my white blood cells stay in the normal to higher than normal range so that Neulasta won't be needed. My treatment today went the smoothest it has gone yet. I had no complications and no immediate side effects. Praise the Lord!!! I hope this is a trend that continues throughout the remainder of my treatment. My nurse today, Marcia was fantastic. She was so accommodating and confident. I had some special visitors today. My grandparents, who just got back from Arizona, were some of the first to arrive. My grandfather also went through chemo treatments at the cancer partnership and had a chance to visit with some of the staff who cared for him. Thanks Grandpa for showing me how to fight the battle and come out a winner. Way to pass on that Hawkins survival instinct. My two girlfriends Amy and Becca, who are like sisters to me, also came to see me. They just got back from college and they spoiled me with presents. "The Regulars" (Momma Hawk, Momma Lien, and Sis Lien) were all there as well...of course. After chemo I went to my Mom's house for a few, and our friend Chris Hite dropped by with a gift for me. It was a Seattle Seahawks mini Breast Cancer helmet. We then realized it was the perfect size for my mom's dog Ullie. That made a very funny picture. The rest of the day I am just going to go home, relax, and take it easy. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and visiting my blog today. I feel like a superstar when I see how many people have checked out "Sarah's Hope!" (wristbands anyone???)

Love Always,
Sarah

P.S. So far we don't have enough questions for our next interview. Either we're boring or you already know everything about us, but we don't think that's the case...so bring on the questions and email them to sarahshope2010@yahoo.com. 

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Day 55

Mother's Day with Mom Lien!!!
For Mother's Day with Mom Lien we went out to lunch and then to Cama Beach park on Camano Island! It was great to get out in the sun and bask in all of God's beauty. We looked for shells, skipped rocks, and just had a wonderful time. We hadn't been there in years, and Mom thought it would be a relaxing place to take advantage of the great weather.

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Mother's Day with Mom Hawkins!!!
For Mother's Day with Mom Hawkins we went over to her house for a family dinner get together Surf-N-Turf style! We had steak, clams, broccolli with hollandaise sauce, and buttery garlic rolls. Mmm...Mmm good. Spending some great quality time was just what the doctor ordered. We finished off the evening with a family movie and then all headed off to bed.

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Day 54

Hello from Safeco Field!!!

On Saturday we went to the Mariners game and had a blast. Some people wanted us to take bags to put over our heads because they aren't having the best season, but we are not fair weather fans. We love our boys!!! Thanks Karen for the awesome tickets and thanks Daddy for giving them up for a little lady in distress! From garlic fries and berry white strawberries to pop flies and extra innings it was a great game to be at. Sarah almost screamed herself hoarse in the 7th inning stretch yelling, "Cause, it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game!" It is a fact that the Mariners play much better while we are at their games so if anyone wants the season to be better bring on the tickets!

Thanks for all your prayers and words of encouragement! Sarah loves checking the mail for your cards because with each one a special smile comes to her face so keep them coming. God has been so good to us and we are grateful for every blessing.

Love,
Kirk and Sarah

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Day 53

A Note From Kirk:
Oh what a night! Jim, Bethany, Sarah and I went down to Seattle for a night on the town to see RAIN. If you haven’t seen RAIN –A Tribute to The Beatles you are missing out! Papa Hawk and Sarah have seen them three times in concert and they still want more. Between dancing with a packed Paramount Theater to 'Twist and Shout' and waving our hands and cell phones to 'Hey Jude' what more can people ask for? Sarah got wild on us and showed us some moves that have been locked up since the 'Summer of Love' and can you guess what she blamed it on? Her lack of a filter because of cancer is a popular excuse these days. She threw her inhibitions to the wind and danced while giving everyone a peace sign. We all had a blast and the fun didn’t stop in Seattle. I think our car ride home was just as fun sporting an AC/DC solo from Jim and more dance moves from Sarah and Bethany that created quite a stir on the freeway. How we fell asleep that night is beyond me. My favorite part of the whole night was seeing Sarah have an awesome time. We haven’t had this much fun in a while and she deserved every single second of it. We weren’t thinking about cancer, pain, doctor appointments or chemotherapy. All we were doing was enjoying the music that we love and spending time with people we love. Thank you Lord for giving us a night we will never forget. All I can say is….I am the walrus….coo coo ca choo.

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Day 52

Kirk took some of Thursday and all of Friday off from work to spend a good amount of time with Sarah. Thursday, when Kirk came home from work, he took Sarah out to her favorite lunch spot: Kafe Neo. It was lamb gyros with feta and greek fries once again. Yummmm. With Sarah's now limited taste pallet, when they find something that is appetizing for her they seem to frequent those restaurants. On Monday she has her third Chemo treatment and will not be feeling good again for a couple of weeks. With that in mind, Kirk and Sarah are planning a full weekend to try and make up for lost time. They both need some fun right now and that is just what they are going to do. Check the blog this weekend to see all of the exciting things that they did.

Day 51

A Note From Sarah:

Today I found myself unable to overcome the feeling of being tired. My eye lids wouldn’t stay open and the thought of taping them up sounded a little sad so couch living was my only option. Some days I feel like I don’t have any worth. I’m 24 years old and I am not able to do anything but fight for my life. I know that alone is a big job but still the horrible feeling of uselessness is there. One of my escapes from feeling this way is creating baby hats to donate to the hospital for the newborns. I have found it helps to balance out these feelings and give me a little self worth. I know that God is walking with me and carrying me on the hardest days. He will restore my youth and the things that have been taken from me. From my “Strength In A Jar” I pulled out this verse:

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11

Day 50

A Note From Sarah: 

"Another Good Day"

Today was like a spa day for me. In the morning, I had my three wigs trimmed up to frame my face. Thank you Matina for the stylish new looks and great conversation! In the afternoon, I had an hour long facial with Suzanne Perry from Caffe Spa, which she gifted to me. Thank you Suzanne! What a blessing it was! My face feels so good and it was such a relaxing time. This evening, Kirk and I went over to Momma and Papa Hawk's house to help Mom with a big project for her work. Bethany came as well and brought baby Roman over too. When Momma's in a bind her girls always come through. It was alot of fun hanging out with all the family and we were all in the family room together until baby Ro-Ro had one of those atomic, up his back, diaper moments. There's nothing quite like a poopy diaper to clear a room. Kirk and I thought, "What an opportune moment to write to our readers." I thank you for all your support and prayers. I would not have as many good days wihout them. It is such a cool feeling to know that my name is being brought before our Father so many times a day. I love you all and am so thankful for you!

Love Always,
Sarah

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Day 49

A Note From Sarah:
“I have been feeling so great that I have been pushing myself too hard and probably overdoing it a little. Today my sister, Ellice (I call her “The Blog-Master”), came over to keep me company. We started out the day with silly commentary on every show we watched on TV, but my over-productivity during the last two days caught up with me and resulted in the need for a serious nap. It started out that it was just going to be an hour but one hour turned into four. Would you believe I’m still tired? I woke up to Kirk and Ellice watching some obscure movie that only Ellice had heard of called ‘First Daughter’. WHAT? Something only Comcast ‘Free Movies’ has available, apparently. (Note to all interested parties: it’s available until exactly May 26th). You’re curious, aren’t you now? I only saw five minutes of the end...but watch it…I know you’ll love it. Now we’re all sitting curled up on the couch updating my blog for you to enjoy and wondering how it got so late that we can no longer order pizza.

Thank you for being such faithful readers! Would you like to be a part of our story? Kirk and I would like to invite you to ask us some questions, if you are so inclined, and you may be featured in our upcoming interview. Do you want to know what our shoes sizes are, what kind of toothpaste we use, or what wild thing we want to do when we’re forty? You have but to ask…and please do because our 4th official interview is closer than you know. Get creative because, as we all know, I have no filter and anything goes.”

Day 48

A Note From Kirk & Sarah:
"Sarah was able to go to church for the first time since Easter, due to her pain levels. It was really evident that we have a supportive church body because so many people came up to Sarah and offered her wonderful words of encouragement (and hugs…which are her favorite).

In the afternoon, we were able to help our friends, Bob & Sherri, because they’ve done so much for us through all of this. We helped lay flooring in one of the bedrooms of their house, along with Sarah’s dad. While I was helping with flooring, Sherri offered to let Sarah take a bath in their huge soaker tub. This proved to be very beneficial for some of the pain in Sarah’s back (and Sarah loves bubbles!). Sarah’s going to try to make it a weekly event. Sarah’s mom and family friend, Elona, cooked enchiladas for everyone involved, and we had a Mexican fiesta in celebration of a job well-done. It was a great day of giving back and fellowship with good family friends."

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Day 47

Kirk's Fun Fact About Sarah:
"Sarah's taste buds have changed. She thinks it's a nationwide conspiracy that all food manufacturers have changed their recipes (in her opinion...for the worst). Sarah never trusts that food isn't just tasting different, and she always makes one of her family members taste the food to tell her that it really tastes normal.
 
It turns out, one of the items that Sarah can no longer taste is basil. This might seem like an obscure ingredient to some of you, however it just so happens to be the main flavor component of two of her favorite things. Bruschetta and Pesto Pasta. So, when Sarah's brain is craving just one delicious mouthful, she knows that those cravings can never be satisfied. All I can say is, after this chemo is over, I can already see that we will have to hire an Italian chef to incorporate basil into every meal.

Thank you for all your prayers! Sarah's strength has really risen. Please pray that she is able to enjoy the rest of the second and third week before her body gets hit again."