Day 281

Wow, how awful can one person feel? I like to think I’d take the cake but I know there are worse off people than me and I have such a heart for them because I truly know what it means to hurt…emotionally and physically. Tomorrow I have another appointment in Seattle at the Cancer Care Alliance’s pain clinic and I am hoping for a miracle. My levels of pain and nausea are just putting me right on the brink of being out of commission. Kirk has been a life saver this last week! I hurt when I’m awake, I hurt when I’m asleep…oh that pretty much covers my day and night. I just want to feel good for a little while and be able to pick up my nephew without tensing up my whole body. To jump into my husband’s arms and not have him worry if he is going to hurt me if he hugs me. To sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time without nightmares or awakening pain jolts. I know it will get better so for now I will picture my great big sun hat sitting in a chair nestled in the sand on my beach in Hawaii feeling the warmth of the sun and hearing the light crashing of the waves on the shore. Anyone care to join me?

With all this pain and nausea I had to figure out something I could do to get my mind off all the hurt. And guess what? I did it! I found a hobby that doesn’t cost me but saves me money! Couponing! I can coupon when I am sick and when I’m having not such a bad day. Today Kirk and I went shopping and I saved us $20 on grocery items we were going to buy anyways! At the checkout counter I wanted balloons to fall from the ceiling and confetti everywhere you looked but I didn’t get all that. I did however get a Good Job from the cashier and a hug from my Hubby. I can’t wait until our next shopping trip…what will I save then?

Thank you for the continued prayer and financial gifts. It has been very hard with me not working and the extra funds have kept us out of debt from all the cancer treatments. We would be in a very different position without the help of family and friends. The aftermath of cancer has been a hard one but with a support group like ours it is easy to see that we are well taken care of by God and by YOU

Love Always,
Sarah