Our lives have been on a roller coaster for oh so many years. We have had the ups and the downs and when it really got wild we had the upside-down loops that made our heads spin. Every day has its surprises and we are never bored with what comes up.
I shared before that my mother has been diagnosed with bone cancer. The agony my heart has felt over the thought of losing my mom has been torture. Every two months she has a test and every two months we have heard disappointing news despite bone strengthening treatments and daily oral chemo. We heard: the cancer has grown, they found another cancer site or on awful days we heard both. Our hope for good news was fading but I was reminded that “a certain darkness is needed to see the stars.” I am not going to lie; we were beaten down as we sat in the conference room at the cancer center waiting for Mom’s results this last month. As the results were read our jaws dropped. For the first time in over a year we were hearing good news in the fight against cancer. Mom’s cancer had stopped growing and there were no new cancer sites anywhere in her body. What a relief! We are safe for two months until the next scan. I am thrilled about this news but I am also very aware of the threat cancer still has on her life.
Lately, I have been feeling stuck; stuck emotionally between the most incredible experience in my life and between the heartache and fear that I feel for my family. On one hand my heart hurts and on the other hand I have so much to be joyful about. What joy? Let me share my amazing news!
Kirk and I are pregnant! After three years of waiting we are expecting our miracle baby! It was quite the road to make this pregnancy happen but oh was it worth it. Between the fertility costs and the hormones I was taking, tensions were high, but my husband survived like a champ…let’s see if he survives the first few months of caring for a newborn! Many times I find myself smiling simply because my fairy tale is coming true. Our baby girl, Yes! I said girl, is due in November and as she grows I find more and more to thank God for. I also want to thank all of you who have supported us through prayers and donations for fertility treatments. Without your help our growing family would not be possible.
Our roller coaster that we call life never ceases to shock and amaze, but even with all the twists and turns we always know “where God guides, He provides”. I for one am forever grateful for His trials and provisions. For every setback and disappointment God has blessed us tenfold.
“Let your past make you better, not bitter.”