Day 202

A Note From Sarah:
So today was a bit better than the last. Kirk demanded I have a “bed day” to recuperate from using my arms too much which caused some extra drainage. Extra drainage is bad because if I can’t get the amount down I will have to live with these horrid drains until I reach my 30’s! So bed days include me doing absolutely nothing and Kirk doing absolutely everything but giving me a massage. And you know what? If I had asked him to do that I would have gotten a massage as well! So let’s all give a big thumbs up to bed days! Lord thank you for this amazing man you have given me. What on earth would I do without him? He can reach the top shelf for laundry soap, tie up my drains for me to take a shower, sleep with only one pillow while I have the other eight, eat his dinner in the other room to make sure the smell doesn’t upset my stomach, remember every medicine at every time they are needed and also find time buy me more strawberry Gatorade when we are running low. God you don’t make too many men of this caliber do you and you let me find him. Once you find a keeper what do you do? Well in my case I stalked him until he finally noticed me and now look we are happily married with stars in our eyes…most days and no restraining order has been necessary. I say most days because ever since March 2010, I am the culprit of making things crazy. It all usually starts with me getting nauseous and not being able to take my pills. Then comes the fun Sarah…the one that if you look at me wrong or say something that I just can’t handle, I fling myself over the wall of inconsolable souls without a lick of thought. It doesn’t matter what anyone has to say I cry. Not a few tears and off we go, but the big alligator tears while throwing myself in a heap on the floor. I say things like “no one knows how I feel…” or “I don’t even know how I feel”. When all of this emotional breakdown was happening I pulled up my bootstraps, said, “I can do this” and started rewinding a movie for Roman our nephew to watch as my Mom known as “Nanna” Barb folded towels. I started to put myself back together and asked Kirk to start the movie even though it wasn’t all the way at the beginning. Kirk pressed play on the Disney Fox and the Hound and I about sunk to the floor. The next sentence I write I am not proud of so please bear with me. I started to yell at my beloved husband because he had inadvertently started the movie at the saddest part ever and just let me cry my little heart out with nothing to stop it. My poor husband never knows when the time bomb is going to go off, but maybe we should come up with a secret code word that could at least get him in the car and a couple streets over before it starts. Save Kirk, Save Kirk from his wicked, wicked wife…alright I’m not that bad…at least I hope I’m not that bad. Maybe Kirk will have to start up a blog to get out his true feelings. Or, maybe Kirk and I should write a book about being only 24 but having the world think that you have to be at least 50 to be able to deal with all of this. I’ll let you know if any editors call up and offer us a book deal.

On a lighter note, I have found something that lifts my spirits higher than high! I have known about this pleasure of mine for awhile and I don’t do it as often as I should to reduce my stress. It may be a little awkward for some of you but if you have never tried this you can’t roll your eyes. When I am having a horrible day and nothing can get me out of my funk, Kirk takes me to Bridge’s Pet Store to look at the puppies. I know I’m not in the market because our apartment is a dog free zone but just to sit there and have them lick your fingers and occasionally nibble on them just makes my heart melt into a puddle. I never get up the courage to ask if I can just play with them or give them a walk or just snuggle but I should. Bridge’s Pet Store if you read this please let me come play with your puppies. My day would be a whole lot brighter if you would open your store to me for a little bit of time. I would even be willing to give the puppies baths which oddly enough would lift my spirits even higher.

Love Always,
Sarah