Saturday, December 4, 2010

Day 231

Can it get any worse?
Yes, I asked the question…can it get any worse? The inner woman knows the answer is yes but the outer woman who is not dealing with life so well at the moment is screaming out…why…why… oh why. Can you picture me cross legged, throwing my hands up in the air and sobbing like a three year old in the middle of the floor? You can’t? Well, I’ll have Kirk take a picture in 5 minutes. Better yet…a video! I’m seriously losing it! I wanted to think that I have been at my lowest point and I am only on the rise but these last couple weeks have sure knocked me for a loop. My days are running into each other and I feel like every minute is a dream. Did I just finish my seventh round of radiation or did I go to Maui and get sunburned? Are Kirk and I married or are we just roommates who see one another in passing? I’m pretty sure about the seventh treatment and the marriage thing but everything else is getting a bit hazy. My poor husband…what he must go through each day. I try to hold things together but really Kirk is the glue; without him I’d be lost in all this chaos. Kirk worries about me at work, after work and he has been known to wake up and check on me. God when all this is over give me the ability to buy him his dream guitar! Kirk deserves the best and I can tell you most days I’m not a slice of paradise but you know what? Kirk loves me just the same. What a man. I have the best husband and sorry but he doesn’t have any brothers. I am a blessed girl and I hope I remember that my bad days aren’t just mine but ours and I need to realize that Kirk is dealing with life right along with me. So when I ask can it get any worse…I know it could. I could be without my partner, my best friend, my husband. Thank you God that you have given me the gift of a constant love…from You and from my husband.

If you see my husband can you do me a favor? I don’t give him near enough the praise he deserves for being “Husband of the Year” so will you help me? I don’t expect you to give him hugs and kisses but if you see him please let him know he is amazing. It’s not hard to see how wonderful Kirk’s heart is so don’t hold back, let the guy know that the world sees what an amazing man he is and that we are all proud of him!

Love Always,

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