Sunday, December 5, 2010

Day 232

God is good...
If you only receive one thing from Sarah’s Hope please let it be the knowledge that my hope is in God.

My morning started with me being so weak that I could barely lift my head. It is in our weakest moments where God shines. As I stood in my closet staring at clothes, my frustration turned to anger. I started yelling at the enemy for taking my strength away, my passion for life, and my ability to hold my head high. He has taken way too much from me to stand back and not fight. Let me tell you God and I put the enemy in his place…right under our heels. I am done with being so weak that the enemy of my soul doesn’t have to be worried about me. I don’t know why I screamed but I screamed for God to give me supernatural strength. I shook as I asked for God to strengthen every muscle, every bone, every inch of me. I am done with not being a threat to the enemy. I actually strive to be in the enemy’s sights every minute because if I’m not I am not being God’s hands and feet. Strive with me to keep the enemy on his toes. We are children of God and we have a great purpose in front of us.

After my outburst of anger and plea for strength I was overwhelmed by the love of my Heavenly Father. I was reminded of Psalm 139, “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.” My Father knows me. He knew all the thoughts that came to my lips this morning even before I awoke. Psalm 139 verse 13, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Verse 16b “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” I don’t know about you but those words are new to me today. God knows me. He planned my life from the very beginning with the knowledge that I would suffer and still stand by Him. It gives me peace to know my every step is known; nothing is a surprise for Him. I am on the winning team…we are on the winning team! I was flooded with the knowledge of His love for me today. I wept tears of joy as I felt His presence filling my closet. I had a cry where a tissue just wasn’t going to cut it and I had grab for my bath towel to catch all the tears that fell from my cheeks. God and I met this morning. Not in church or after hours of prayer but in my closet. Where I have no armor on to shield me from the world; where I am real and vulnerable; where there is seriously no room for anybody else. In my closet is where God met me today and where He made me feel loved…from my inmost being to my outmost woman, I am loved by God.

Thank you for following this rollercoaster of a life. I am blessed to have you and I hope that my ah-ha moments touch you as well.

Love always,


Anonymous said...

Sarah...I ask for prayer for you all the time and brag to anyone that will listen how amazing your husband is. Having Kirk by your side as super husband and protector makes the rest of us sleep easier at night. So, thank you Kirk, for being a godly man and such a blessing to Sarah and our family. Thank you God, for putting such beautiful hearts in our family. Love, Auntie Lynda

Anonymous said...

You will have victory in this battle and God will be glorified! Love you sweet girl, Auntie Lynda

Anonymous said...

3 comments in one day!! already know your auntie is a big dork. I posted the Kirk comment on the wrong day :P Maybe 6am is too early to post stuff? <3

Heather Mayer said...

Sweet girl, your such a blessing. In times of trouble and pain, I always remember the song IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL...have you heard it?? It was my dads favorite song, and now mine! I admire your strength and honesty and your relationship with God.