Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Day 234

My life is all over the place isn’t it. One day I’m in bed without the strength to lift my head and the next I’m having fun decorating a Christmas tree…I guess I can be grateful for never having a dull moment.

Yesterday I felt awful. I wasn’t expecting to feel so nauseous at least until Thursday! It’s pretty bad when you can look at a calendar and say “Oh can we plan for Tuesday instead of Friday because I’ll need to go to the hospital that day.” I’m getting good at predicting how long I can last…I can predict the hour that my nausea will turn into…something else. It’s like being on a game show and the prize is going to the hospital and getting stuck with a needle! Alright, so not a great prize package but the “feeling good” part sure does beat “new car” smell. In Kirk’s case he would rather be nauseated and have a new car but that’s a man for you. I, on the other hand, would like to go one week without having to go to the hospital…hmmmm…how many weeks has it been? I’m going to look. (Isn’t the internet a wonderful thing?) I looked back and the first time I went in for fluids and anti-nausea meds was September 27th! Yikes, that’s like 10 weeks in a row. No wonder my arm is black and blue, it never has time to heal. Wow, I just realized that I can map out doctor appointments, special events, hospital visits and every lovers quarrel I have with Kirk! This is my online diary and you have the key! Don’t you feel special? I’m sure I write some things that make you want to say “I could have gone all my life without knowing that piece of information” but that wouldn’t be real life would it? I have to make the brave guys that read my blog squirm a little. I am, however, grateful for all my readers to have stuck with me through thick and thin. You keep me writing and I wonder how far my story is reaching…hold on a second…I’ll look! This month my blog has been read by people in Germany, India, the U.K., and Italy…and that’s only this month! If I look back Australia, Russia, France, and the Netherlands have hit my site! That’s a wide mileage range from readers. If you are one of those readers from out of the country “Welcome”! I hope I have been a good ambassador for Sarah’s Hope and also from the state of Washington. If you happen to want me to come to your country and visit you I’m all for that as well. Now I’m not being a good hostess; I invited myself to reader’s homes and somehow I don’t think that’s the proper etiquette. I’m just excited! If anyone who lives farther than Winthrop, and if you don’t know where Winthrop is then you count, wants two ambassadors for Sarah’s Hope and Breast Cancer survivorship in their neck of the woods I am amped up just thinking about visiting you! Can you imagine if my blog was the door to missions and traveling the world? Well, I am going to believe that God can use anything to bring his will to come so I’ll keep an open mind and an open schedule.

Today I decorated the Christmas tree with my mom. It’s something that we do together that we take pride in. Our tree could be in a magazine…seriously! Martha come check out this tree…it looks like it has jewelry on! My mom loves buying special ornaments that you can remember where they came from. Like mission trips to Biloxi, Mississippi, when our family went to the nutcracker and of course when we all went to Hawaii! She buys matching ornaments for all us girls so no matter where we are all of our memories come together to celebrate family ties and Christmas. Like every year, as soon the tree skirt is down, Max (the dog) is under the tree taking his rightful place as the first present of Christmas. I love decorating with my mom for the holidays. It’s just so much fun coming to Mom and Dad’s house when the tree is lit up, stockings are hung and the scent of cinnamon is in the air. I felt little again, filled with wonder for what the season will bring. Cookies and bows are coming up next!

I wanted to thank everyone who gave me a book or gave me a gift card for a book store. I have to go back even farther than that…I borrowed some of the books that my Mom received when she was recovering from cancer treatments. I have read many pages full of laughter, tears and “Wow” moments. I have highlighted and dog-eared so many encouraging verses, poems, stories and each book has offered me something new. Thank you for making my sleepless nights a little less lonely. With all the “keep your head up high” and “you go girl” pep talks or should I say pep reads, I find myself wanting to spur on others to keep fighting the good fight! Hey that’s another thing I could travel and do. Sarah the traveling speaker! Man, I am just itching to spread my wings and fly aren’t I? I guess if getting up in front of tons of people and feeling a little out of my element will let me check off some dream list then sign me up!

The radiation therapy is starting to show up on my skin. I can see a slight color difference but luckily my skin hasn’t been feeling any of the symptoms. Please pray that the effects on my skin will be minimal and that the radiation won’t zap me of my energy.

Thank you to all my readers both near and far for taking time out of your day to think about me. I feel very special that I am in your thoughts and prayers.

Love Always,


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