Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Day 223

Frustration takes its toll…
Sarah was just in the infusion clinic on Friday and we were back again Monday. After Friday in the clinic, Sarah felt pretty good, but then on Saturday there was a surprise birthday party for her mom in Lynnwood. To keep the surprise alive, Sarah took on bringing all the supplies and setting everything up. When she feels so good she wants to do…do…do, but then pays for it big time the next day. This of course makes her feel like she is trapped in an 80 year old’s body. On Sunday, she was so sore from all the work she did Saturday night, and even though she probably shouldn’t have, she agreed to take baby Ro-Ro overnight. Because she had overdone it so much, Sarah’s nausea hit hard again Sunday night. So here she is all sore, watching a baby, and handing him off to me so she could go throw up. Doesn’t that just sound like a lot? Sarah is so determined to not let cancer hold her back that sometimes she admittedly does way more than she should. In the past I have tried to stop her from doing so much, but that has proven to be worse. It’s a mistake because all the doing makes her feel so good mentally and emotionally and not doing the things that bring her joy, leads to frustration and depression. On the other hand it is equally as frustrating and depressing to be constantly nauseous. When you are throwing up for two out of three days, out of control emotions definitely creep in. Sarah just wants to be able to move on and live a normal life again. We both do. This time of cancer has taught us many invaluable things, but it has also at times pushed us to the edge of insanity. No one should ever have to deal with this much pressure and stress so we feel for others who are walking this road as well. The blessing however has been that through this incredibly rough time, we have never felt alone. We have had wonderful family support but most of all we have felt God’s presence walking with us every step. I won’t say that it has been easy to stay positive, but as you all know Sarah especially has been quite a testimony of having a great attitude in the midst of great hardship. She gets hit every day from the effects of cancer and she only lets it daze her for a short time then she is back in the ring for more. She is my fighter girl and for that, I am truly, truly proud of her.

I hope that this nausea will cease very soon. It is becoming more than Sarah can handle and this would be our biggest prayer request. My Sarah is desperate to consistently feel better and I am equally as desperate to see her be able to be herself again.

Thanks for all your prayers and support!

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