Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Day 229

I am writing to you at 2 in the morning. I am having trouble sleeping…again. Yesterday I was up until 4am and Kirk’s alarm clock went off at 6. Can you guess that at radiation today I was a walking zombie? I probably wasn’t all that pleasant either but lack of sleep, nausea and a splitting headache will do that to the best of us right? I hope so or I’m in trouble. Radiation went just fine today. I’m thinking about buying my own gown that actually fits. Each day as I desperately hold tight to my clothes, purse and gown as I walk from the dressing rooms to the radiation “vault”, I have almost flashed unsuspecting patients, technicians and doctors. I don’t want to spend my Christmas and New Year in jail for indecent exposure! They will call me Sassy McFlasherson! Alright the hour is not making me sleepy just silly! After radiation I lucked out and got an appointment with my oncologist! She will be taking on the challenge of my ongoing nausea and dizziness. She prescribed some new meds and although I have to get used to taking meds around the clock again I have hope in the new approach. I am looking forward to the day when all this is a memory and I can do something good with this experience but I’m struggling at this very moment. This last week I was reminded to be thankful. I have to admit I‘ve been wrestling with the thought of being thankful for everything. In Thessalonians it says “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Please know that I am so thankful for what God has given me through all of you and others but still I struggle with being thankful for everything. In the end of each storm I travel through I can see the good that has been done and the lessons I have learned so I guess I must wait out the ongoing storms to see His perfect plan. And I know that takes faith…a heaping helping of faith. Press on Sarah, press on! God has not gone! He walks beside you and is with you as you write these words. He would never leave His precious daughter in her darkest hours. You are His princess and as such you are under the protection of His wings. Those words are of the Holy Spirit who lives in me. God spurs me on to see past the present and look to the horizon for the future! I must be thankful in everything for God has my best interest in mind. Kirk and I are living proof that God loves His people. We have been very blessed over the past 8 months and I see the blessings sprinkled through our lives…alright in our case the blessings have been like a supersoaker wetting us down from head to toe but doesn’t that just make you smile? God loves His children so much that in most cases He doesn’t give us the minimum but He will surround us with love and provision! So be thankful in everything, even when the whole picture is not known for God knows and trust me when I say we are all in good hands.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Love Always,

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