Friday, August 13, 2010

Day 151

A note from Sarah:
What a morning. Why was woman cursed with having emotional meltdowns and men just swallow hard and move on? I will ask God that very question one day. Our morning started out with taking the next step on our cancer treatment journey. Kirk was making some phone calls to schedule appointments with the surgeon to talk about options and appointments for upcoming scans. We were also on the hunt for some answers regarding when I could start my Tamoxifen regiment as well as when the next opening is for a surgery date. I had no idea that taking the next step was going to hit me so hard. The reality of what is to come was at the forefront of my mind and it overwhelmed me to the breaking point. I was on the verge of hyperventilating when Kirk’s survival instincts took over and he talked me down. Kirk is a great man and I would be in a desperate place without him. One of the reasons why all this is hitting me so hard is because I am just starting to feel like myself again only to start walking down another road of physical changes. It feels like Kirk and I are in the eye of the storm. There is a storm behind us and a storm in front of us but we are holding on tight to every minute of the “calm” before the next storm. Today Kirk knew that I needed to get out of the house in order to leave some stress behind so we thought it was an excellent day to donate some baby hats to the hospital. I donated a total of 60 baby hats today and I feel a sense of accomplishment and a pat on my back for a job well done. While I was dropping off my hats I knew my mom was working so we went up to say “hey”. I love seeing my mom’s crew! They pour out the love when I’m there with hugs and smiles. I was encouraged that it was okay to enjoy the eye of the storm and by the time I left my shoulders had loosened up. Most people don’t go to the hospital to get a pick me up but Mamma Hawk’s crew can always pick me up by my bootstraps and send me on my way smiling.

Thank you for all the comments about wanting to hear more of my day to day thoughts as well as the comments about the Komo News article online. Sherri also got my story and the Alfy’s fundraiser on Komo news AM 1000 today at 2:15. Kirk and I sat in front of the radio and listened and when they had finished I did a celebratory dance which may have scared some neighbors! Thanks for your prayers and support!

Love Always,


Heather Murray said...

You are such an inspiration to me. I am 21 and a full time student and a newlywed of 8 months. I have been fighting depression really hard for the last 6 or 7 months. Self-pity consumed me. Our pastor did a sermon on fighting through the battle a couple months ago. One of the key points was to pray for others and think of them instead of self-pity. I decided that day that you would be my focus of prayer instead of the depression I deal with. It has been amazing the way that God has moved in my life since then! I check your blog everyday and do a little celebration dance everytime I read about the miracles God is doing in your life.
God Bless!

Anonymous said...

Just read the Everett Herald article about you. You have had an incredible journey. It's hard for me to imagine that my precious little 3/4th grader is all grown up, with so many hurts and problems. You still have the million dollar smile and the strong resolve to go on even when the going is hard! May God bless you with perseverence to see this through. The Alfy's pizza idea is a great idea.
Lovingly, Mrs. De Jong